Further Adventures of a Murderous Trollop
by mutive
Summary: In these shorts, psychopathic elf-mage Neria Surana proves that she will try just about anything once.  Much to the dismay of those around her.
1. Not So Rough!

**Not so Rough!**

_A/N: For a prompt about darkspawn rape. Although since I don't like rape, I decided that the encounter would be entirely consensual. Since, you know, why not?_

Neria had never considered the idea of trying to have sex with a hurlock before she saw one for the first time. But she was never one to turn down a new experience, particularly one with something so interesting. And there was a certain appeal to the hurlocks. Their strong, muscular shoulders. Their sharp, wicked teeth. Those dexterous hands? It was enough to make Neria eager to see what they looked like under their armor.

Plus, the hurlock alpha Neria had in mind seemed a rather unemotional sort. The kind who was highly unlikely to demand that she stick around and cuddle, or tell her how much she loved him afterwards, in the way Alistair always did.

Besides, she figured that she might as well get some use out of the tainted blood she'd been forced to drink and her new-found resistance to everything darkspawn related. What other reason was there for being a Grey Warden?

DA:O

It was not so hard to track down the hurlock that Neria had her eye on. He was a particularly impressive specimen, with most of his flesh still intact, and less of an odor of decay and rot than most of his brethren. Neria carefully planned her attack so that she killed all of his companions other than him, thus guaranteeing that he would be the one to take her.

Her method of seduction was simple. After dispatching with the less attractive members of his horde with lightning, she pretended to stumble on an exposed root, leaving herself "vulnerable". It was only seconds later that she heard the grunt of the hurlock from behind her, then felt his hands on her, dragging her down to some subterranean cave.

It was not her first choice for a romantic rendezvous. But that said, neither were the tents in camp with all of those nasty rocks on the ground. Neria let the hurlock position her against the wall of the cavern, then rip off her robes to expose her delicate white flesh, before he unbuckled his own armor.

My, he was quite a sizable hurlock! Neria wrapped a leg around him, and guided him into her. She wasn't quite as wet as she might have desired, seeing as the foreplay had left something to be desired. Still, the novelty of this experience was worth something, and after a bit of initial pain, she found herself warming up quite well to the thrusts and grunts of her new companion.

DA:O

Hurlock Alpha 3248235 continued thrusting into the elf. Instinct drove him to force himself deeper, to spend, then to invite another of his kind to do the same, forcing the taint into her body again and again in an attempt to create a new shriek-brood mother. And yet, something was wrong with this proto-shriek.

It was not just her cries, that sounded even to his own ears, less like those of men disemboweled in battle and more like something hideously and disturbingly foreign. It was not that rather than put up a struggle, she seemed to be urging him on. No, it was that no matter how he tried to force the taint deep inside her, it would not stick. Hurlock Alpha 32498235 uttered a sub-vocal growl, summoning his brethren from a cavern deep under the earth, hoping that one of them could complete the job he was so far failing to do.

DA:O

Neria greeted the arrival of the other darkspawn with enthusiasm. She had been most interested in her chosen Hurlock Alpha, true, but she looked forward to the chance to experience a genlock emissary or perhaps even a shriek! When one of them pushed her to the warm, slimy, pulsating floor of the cavern and spread her legs even wider before her before pushing into her, she welcomed it, already warmed by the hurlock's earlier attentions. When another positioned himself over her mouth, she opened it wider, urging him in.

She had never before had more than one darkspawn at a time, and she had to admit that it was a unique and even pleasant experience, in its own unusual way. She felt a ripple of an orgasm tear through her, just before her current lover withdrew and a new one replaced him. She bucked her hips up against him, trying to urge him on to fuck her faster, faster, faster.

DA:O

Hurlock Alpha 3248235 had never seen anything like it. 10 of his brethren had emptied their taint into her, yet this proto-shriek brood mother showed no signs of metamorphosing. What strange, and horrible creature was this? He decided, with surety, that it must die if it could not be transformed, and gave the signal to his brethren.

DA:O

"Ow!" Neria said. "Stop playing so rough!"

Sadly, the shriek in question did not seem willing to listen to her request. So Neria summoned her magic through the veil of the fade and gave him a not-so-playful electrocution. That caused him to back off. Good. She never liked it when lovers became too bossy in bed.

Sadly, her gesture seemed to end all the fun she'd been having. The other darkspawn seemed to take it as a signal to attack, forcing her to freeze them in place then kill them one by one. Neria glanced about the chamber she had been laying in, feeling a slight twinge of sadness, but forced it out of her mind. The orgy had been interesting, after all, and a rather new experience, but after having it, she had to admit that it was not her favorite, if one of her more unique. Besides, now that she was a Grey Warden, darkspawn were just drawn to her, so it should not be so hard to replicate this experience at a later date. With that thought in mind, Neria gathered up her clothing and proceeded back to camp.


	2. Mages Gone Wild:  Welcome Home!

**Mages Gone Wild**

Oh, Maker no, Greagoir thought as he watched Neria Surana enter the tower. Not Neria. Anyone but her. She was supposed to be a Grey Warden now, and was never supposed to return. That was the deal, right?

He should have just annulled the tower when he had her locked inside, orders from the chantry or no. He should have thrown away the key and never let her out, no matter how many innocents had to die. It would be better than letting her return.

"Hi Greagoir!" she said, her voice as disturbingly chipper as ever. "Guess what?"

"What?" Greagoir asked, almost certain that he did not want to hear the answer.

"I killed the arch-demon and saved Ferelden. And so Anora gave me Loghain!" She hopped about him excitedly. Greagoir glanced back at the front door. Sure enough, the Hero of the River Dane was sulking next to it, a handsome dog at his feet.

Then, as an afterthought, Neria added, "Oh, and she freed the Tower Circle."

"What?"

Neria nodded and thrust some papers into his hands. "Yep, it's freed. So now we can do whatever we want, whenever we want, with whomever we want, and you can't stop us."

Oh, Maker no. It was worse than he could have imagined. The only thing that had even faintly restrained Neria up until now was the threat of being executed by a templar. If the Circle Tower were actually freed…

"Aren't you happy for me?" Neria asked, her face in a pout that probably meant she was about to either seduce or kill him, depending on which whim took her first. He had to think fast.

"I'm delighted for you," Greagoir said. "So delighted, in fact, that I am going to hand the tower over to you right this minute and go on a very long vacation."

"Oh! A vacation! Where are you going? Can I come with you?"

She most certainly could not. But stating this might turn him into one of those squished templars lying on the floor of the library that the others hadn't gotten around to cleaning up yet after the abomination attack. So instead Greagoir said, "I haven't decided where I'm going yet. And do you really want to travel again before you've had a chance to receive a warm welcome from all those mages you just freed?"

Neria shook her head. "No, you're right. I definitely need to get them all to offer me their sincerest and most heartfelt gratitude before I go off adventuring again." She rose on her tip toes to kiss Greagoir just about at the level of his chest. "Enjoy your vacation!"

As long as it was far, far from here, he undoubtedly would.

DA:O

Neria caught up with Anders just as he was about to escape through the door after Greagoir.

"You don't need to race off like that," she said, tugging on his sleeve. "We're free now."

"Free?"

"Yes, free!" Neria said. "I asked Anora to free us after I saved Ferelden. So now we can come and go as we please."

Anders hugged her to his chest. "That's amazing news!"

"I know!"

"In that case," Anders said, glancing at the closing door with a wistful expression, "I will definitely be getting out of here before something changes about the current situation and we are no longer free." Just to turn back to Neria see that his companion was pouting.

"But I'll miss you," Neria said, her voice going into a high pitch that made her sound like a little girl.

"Awww, elfkins, I'll miss you too."

She stared up at him with those large slanted eyes that Anders never could resist and fluttered them quite alluringly. "Aren't you at least going to thank me for freeing the circle before you go?"

"Of course," he said. He could delay his escape for a few minutes, he guessed, at least if it involved satisfying the needs of a very beautiful woman.

"Oh, good!" she said. "I know just the place!"

DA:O

"Isn't this the knight-commander's office?" Anders asked, after she shut the door behind them.

"Well, I figure that since the tower is freed, it's really kind of my office now," Neria said, pushing some papers off the desk, then sitting on it, her legs dangling off the sides. She was wearing a rather cute robe that involved stockings that only went half-way up her slender thighs. "Besides, Greagoir said that he was going on a long vacation, so no matter what happens, he won't be using it for a while."

Anders leaned down to kiss her on the lips, then nuzzled at her ear and asked, "So how did you want me to show my gratitude?"

Neria giggled and squirmed against him. "Oh, you know!"

He did. "You're wearing an awful lot of clothing, though, for that."

"Oh, you're right!" Neria said, standing and unbuttoning her robes before lifting them over her head. "I'd forgotten that we don't need to be all secretive now. Won't things be so much better this way?"

Anders certainly thought so, although really, he couldn't find fault with any situation that involved a very willing and quite pretty elf standing naked before him. He picked her up and lifted her onto the desk, before bending over her, and kissing down her chest. He took a nipple in his mouth, and bit gently on it, as Neria gripped his arms and leaned back.

"That feels very nice," she said.

Anders wrapped an arm about her, to steady her, before moving a hand down her belly to tease her between her legs. Her breath sped up.

"Oh, that feels even better!" she said. He was about to lower his head from her breast to more sensitive areas, before he felt her grip on his ponytail. He raised his head.

"You might not want to take too long," Neria said. "After all, you have your escape to think of."

It was kind of her to think of his needs, Anders thought, although considering that this was Neria, he did wonder whether her kindness was due to an ulterior motive. No matter, he would take what he could get. Anders stepped away and undid his robes, before stepping between her legs. She leaned back, steadying herself on the desk, as he pulled her to him.

Their actions were enough to send many of the remaining papers flying off the desk, and Neria giggled each time one hit the floor, before she arched back, completely engaged in their activities. She came once, as he thrust into her, then seemed not far from reaching climax a second time when he surrendered to his baser instincts, and became of decidedly less use to her in one regard. Still, he was a gentleman, if nothing else, so Anders used his hands to give her the second orgasm she had no doubt been craving. It was decidedly unsafe to leave Neria wanting more.

"That was nice," Neria said, leaning back into the desk with a contented look. She leaned down on her side crumpling the few papers that she had not already knocked off of it. "We should do that more often."

"I'm escaping, remember?" Anders asked, pulling on his robes.

"Oh, yes," Neria said with a frown.

"But there are all sorts of other friends for you here," Anders said with a smile, leaning over to kiss her on the forehead. "And maybe eventually you can escape, too, and find me again somewhere more exciting than this whole place."

"That sounds amazing," Neria said, waving him a merry good bye.

DA:O

Rylock saw Anders escape through the front door, and was just about to head out after him when she felt a hand on her arm.

"Be quick about this," she said. "I need to return that apostate to the tower, and do not want him to get a head start."

She turned to see the elven mage that Greagoir had warned her about shaking her head. "You don't have to do that, now," the elf said. "We've been freed by order of the Crown."

"Freed?" Rylock said. This had to be a joke. She knew better than to trust this mage. She had been warned by Greagoir, after all.

The mage nodded briskly. "Anora said that since I was the Hero of Ferelden and had saved everyone, that mages now got to do whatever they wanted." And then, to Rylock's horror, the mage stood on her tip toes and kissed Rylock squarely on the lips.

Rylock pushed her away. "This is absurd!"

The mage shrugged. "Well, maybe," she said. "But it's pretty fun, anyway, if you give it a shot." A small hand reached up to stroke Rylock's neck. "All we'd have to do is to get you out of your heavy templar armor, and I could show you just how much fun freedom really is."

"I've taken vows of chastity," Rylock said, although the hand on her neck was rather appealing. But no. Absolutely not. Especially not with the mage who had been compared to a desire demon by Greagoir. She would hold firm, and protect against this wanton's advances with the strength of her faith!

"But it's so much fun," the elf said, her hand brushing through the cloth skirt that covered Rylock's groin. She felt a hand reach to her smalls, and stroke against the parts of her that she knew the Maker damned people to hell for touching prior to marriage. She refused to let herself think of that, though, as those thoughts only made her more eager for Neria's hand. The hand that she quickly reached down and tugged away.

"That's enough of that."

"Why won't you even give it a chance?" the mage asked. "It really is a lot of fun!" Rylock felt hands on her armor, reaching for the clasps, before she started backing towards the door. Was there nothing she could do to stop this mage?

"Get away from me, desire demon," Rylock said, hoping that maybe the tower had been possessed again and she could just shake the elf off with sufficient disbelief.

"Oh, I'm not a desire demon," the elf said. "I'm really much, much better. If you'll just let me demonstrate-"

But before she could say any more, Rylock managed to dash out through the front door of the tower and close it firmly behind her.

DA:O

Loghain wandered about the courtyard of the mage tower with the dog trotting at his feet, wondering what he ought to do. After being conscripted into the Grey Wardens, he had genuinely thought that his purpose was to die for the good of the country, and hopefully redeem himself by his death. As such, agreeing to be under the command of the third-most-senior Grey Warden in the land had not seemed like such a sacrifice, no matter how peculiar she might be.

But now he was left to wonder about his role in the future of Ferelden. To the best of his knowledge, he was still under the command of Neria. But it occurred to him that maybe the statute of limitations on her command had worn out by now. And even if it had not, surely there were some things that she shouldn't be allowed to command him to do. For instance, killing darkspawn seemed like an entirely reasonable request from his commander. Sharing a bedroll with her for warmth seemed less reasonable, which he had told her. Many times.

He might have to talk to the Orleians wardens to determine how things were actually supposed to be. Which distressed him, but not half as much as spending another two weeks alone with her. And if they were supposed to be the way she claimed they were, Loghain decided that he would most definitely say screw it like the Chantry Boy, and find something else to do with whatever remained of his life.

He'd figure it out, he decided. Hopefully before she got tired of being in the tower and came after him again.

The dog sidled up to him, and he patted it on the head. No matter what happened, he decided, he would take the dog with him.


	3. Mages Gone Wild:  Chasing Cullen

**Mages Gone Wild: Chasing Cullen**

_A/N: I feel like I owe a warning for non-con. I feel really bad about making this kind of silly, as tormenting Cullen really shouldn't be funny. It probably isn't. I still see Neria doing it, though, as she doesn't get things like "boundaries"._

_Also, I stole Marcus Amell from Prisoner_24601. He's kind of like the anti-Neria, but a very cool character, who is well worth checking out when/if you get the chance!_

Neria seethed with frustration at her lack of ability to indulge in her templar fetish with Rylock. She was such a pretty woman, and Neria wanted to see what she was like under all that armor. But chasing Rylock down was hardly worth the effort, considering how many templars remained in the tower. She'd just have to find one who was more accommodating.

Such as Cullen. He'd always had a crush on her, hadn't he? It was about time to make his dreams a reality!

She found him on the third floor, and pulled him to her.

"Cullen," she said. "Now that the tower's freed, how about you join me in the storage closet." She pointed at one that usually had enough extra space to accommodate two bodies, provided that one of them was small.

"I…I'm n-n-n-not so s-s-s-sure that-that-that would be such a g-g-g-ood idea," Cullen stammered.

Neria dragged him towards it by his hand. "Nonsense! It's a wonderful idea! You've always wanted to have sex with me, and I've always wanted to have sex with a templar in a storage closet." Then she realized what the problem was. "Or right out in the open, if you think that the closet's too small! I mean, now that the tower's free, who's going to stop us?" She reached a hand under the skirt of his armor, and he jittered away. Poor nervous man. It was probably his first time, and she bet that he'd never expected to have sex at all, far less with someone as ravishingly beautiful as herself.

She reached for him again, as he backed up until he was against a wall, her hand up his skirt, then in his smalls, stroking him. Even though his face was covered by that helmet, she knew that he was enjoying this from his heavy breathing.

"N-n-neria, y-y-you should stop," Cullen said, between deep breaths.

"No," Neria said. "You should take off your armor."

But before he could get around to it, she felt him jerk quickly in her hand and spend. What a disappointment. She'd really been hoping to take him against the wall in a way that was actually pleasurable, rather than just slightly gross.

She really needed to wash her hand now.

Luckily, she thought, there was always later. And a wash bucket right around the corner.

DA:O

Catching Cullen a second time proved more difficult than Neria would have thought. It was probably due to his humiliation at coming so quickly the last time, Neria decided. And while Neria did have to admit that he had been very, very bad by not giving her any pleasure whatsoever and deserved to be punished in a particularly delightful way, she really thought that he ought to act less embarrassed about it and just take pointers from her about what he needed to do in the future.

Sadly, Cullen seemed completely disinclined to have a little talk with her about his performance. She would do no more than step into a room and he would race out of it as though he had seen a ghost. Poor man. Especially when all she wanted to do was tell him that she'd forgiven him for what he did and very much wanted to give him the chance to make it up to her at the earliest opportunity. She wasn't angry at all! He really didn't need to run from her that way!

After over a day of stalking him through the tower, peering at him through bookshelves in the library, and trying to get close enough to explain, or at least feel him up a few times, Neria decided that the best way to make her apology would be in his bed, late at night, when they were significantly less likely to be over heard. After all, Cullen was so young and innocent. Undoubtedly he was still a bit uncomfortable about having conversations like that in public. Plus, he probably felt absolutely humiliated about what he'd done, and needed to be reassured that he'd do just fine, with practice. In a location that was quiet, and had no other distractions. Like in his room, late at night. He'd undoubtedly be delighted to wake up to find her in bed next to him. What man wouldn't be?

Yes, Neria thought to herself, she would definitely have to try that tactic next. It was a good plan.

DA:O

Neria snuck into Cullen's room late that evening, and was delighted to find that he was the only one in it. She knew that it was likely that he'd be alone, seeing as three quarters of the templars had been killed by desire demons not long ago, and the chantry still had not had the opportunity to restock the tower's templar supply. But she had been afraid that he might be rooming with someone else, which could be awesome under the right circumstances, but was likely to intimidate poor Cullen on his first try.

But, no, his bed was the only one that had been taken, so Neria slipped in and removed her night shift. A minute later, she was in Cullen's bed, pressing her naked body up against him.

"W-w-w-what are you doing here?" Cullen asked sitting upright so abruptly that he nearly hit his head on the top bunk.

"Shhh," Neria said, stroking her hand over his chest. My was he muscled out of his armor! "I just want to talk."

"If y-y-you just want to t-talk, w-why are y-y-y-you n-n-naked?"

"Because I'm just a dream," Neria said, kissing at his neck.

He touched her arm with a large, calloused hand. "I don't think you're a dream."

"Sure I am," Neria said, a saucy smile on her face. "I'm just a figment of your imagination, sent here to do whatever you most desire."

Cullen pushed her away. "Be gone, desire demon!" he commanded. "And torment me no more!"

Neria crept towards him, realizing that her initial tactic had been completely wrong, in retrospect. She'd forgotten that desire demons often came in dreams, and that templars were told to resist them. "No, no, actually, I take that back. I'm not a dream. I'm a flesh and blood girl. But you can still do whatever you most desire with me." She fluttered her long eyelashes at him, despite that she had a horrible feeling that the movement was lost in the dim light.

Still, no matter how she chased him about the room, Cullen kept fleeing from her. Even when she got him to a corner, he was trembling so much in fear that he was unable to obtain the desired reaction, even when she knelt on the floor and tried to coax it out of him with her mouth.

Templars really were boring.

Oh well. She'd try again tomorrow. Maybe he'd respond better to a different tactic. And in the light of day, it should be quite obvious that she was not actually a demon.

DA:O

Neria knew that she was onto something when she found that Cullen was bathing. She'd never caught him naked before, so surely this was the perfect opportunity to finally fulfill both of their desires. She snuck in when he was distracted with rubbing soap into his hair, and locked the door behind her. She slipped out of her robes, and walked over to his bath.

"Hello big boy," she said, with a wink. "Mind if I join you?"

"W-w-would you stop tormenting me if I let you?"

"Oh, I don't know," Neria said, reaching down to stroke him. "I suppose it all depends on how good you are." She watched his eyes close and his lips tighten with her motion. He hardened so quickly. It truly was delightful that templars were so easy to please. Even if Neria would prefer that they were better at pleasing her instead. She continued stroking. Once he was ready, she stepped over his body, straddling him. She could feel him pressed up against her thigh.

"T-t-this is wrong," Cullen said, although she noticed with some satisfaction that his hand had reached up to stroke the front of her body.

"It is wrong," Neria said, leaning in to nip his neck. "But isn't it also so right?" She reached down to stroke him again, then leaned into his chest, bracing herself against it as she sat up, and guided him into her.

Cullen's face tightened, and this time his breath really started coming quickly, in little gasps that made him sound almost as though he were drowning.

"Doesn't this feel good?" Neria asked, rocking against him, her hands running down the red hair of his chest. "Don't you like finally being with a woman?"

Cullen whimpered and shook his head. But still his hands reached down to grasp her hips and helped move them up and down upon him.

Neria wrapped her hands around his shoulders and leaned back, against his legs. Maker, this felt good after nearly a day of celibacy spent chasing this silly man down. She sped her own movements, letting one of her hands drift between her thighs. Unfortunately, before she was able to finish, Cullen whimpered and came in her.

A pity that it was so abrupt that she was left unsatisfied. Then again, there was always time tomorrow to train him properly. And perhaps this was just the perfect opportunity to show him what he could do with his mouth?

DA:O

Marcus Amell made it to the bathing area just to find that the door was locked. He wondered why. Generally, doors were supposed to remain unlocked during normal waking hours. But before he could wonder for too long, he heard whimpers coming from behind the door that made it abundantly clear as to why they'd been locked.

Damned apprentices, he thought to himself, wondering whether he should wait for them to finish, or just go back to the library and return for his bath later.

Before he could make a firm decision either way, the Hero of Ferelden, Neria Surana, came walking out wearing only a towel. She was followed by Cullen, who looked even more embarrassed and flushed than usual.

Marcus had to force himself not to shudder, then walked into the room to find that it reeked of sex, and that the one tub in it was…well, was unusable.

He cursed Neria under his breath, then called for an apprentice templar to clean the place up so that he could take a proper bath. As he waited, he wondered what needed to be done to stop this from happening in the bathing areas in the future. A sign that said, "If you have sex in the baths, please be polite and drain the water once you are done?" A memo distributed to all the mages and templars, telling them that "Fornication during peak bath hours is impolite and greatly inconveniences others trying to use the baths for their intended purpose"? Or maybe just a little bell around Neria's neck that let him knew where she'd be so that he could avoid her?

Honestly, the last solution probably had the highest chance of successful implementation.

_OK, so I'm kind of frightened at the fact that all of you seem to like this, but, eh...go figure? (It's better than writing this, right? Right?)_

_Anyway, special thanks to: Nightsfury, Shootingstar, MatchesMalone, Interesting, Piceron, Gaj, Arsinoe, Nithu, Lehni, roxfox, Enaid, demonicnargles, Sarah, the Golden Echo, Gene Dark, Eva Galana, jenncgf, and scampermax._


	4. Mages Gone Wild:  Intervention

**Mages Gone Wild: Intervention**

"Hi Flora," Neria said, wandering into the library to where Finn was trying to finish a surprisingly engaging book on Tevinter artifacts.

"I go by Finn, you know," Finn said. He hated Flora, and really wished that he could kill whoever had come up that with that stupid nickname.

"Finn, Flora, whatever," Neria said. And then, "I was just thinking that you look awfully tense."

"It has been a long day," he said, watching with what was either anticipation or horror as Neria actually climbed under the table and pulled his robe up to his waist.

"Well, I guess I don't mind that form of relaxation," he said, shivering as he felt one of her hands reach into his smalls and draw him out. Her hands caressed him, before he groaned as she licked along the underside of his cock.

"Are you sure we should be doing this here?" he asked.

Neria briefly stopped the attention she was giving him. "Did you want me to stop?"

"We, well, we could move somewhere more appropriate."

Neria shrugged. "There's no one else here. Besides, technically the tower belongs to us, now, so we might as well make use of it. All of it."

She made a good point, at least to Finn's addled mind. And he did want her mouth to go right back to what it had been doing, so Finn said, "You're right," and leaned back in the chair to enjoy the rest of her efforts.

DA:O

Marcus entered the library to see Finn moaning and groaning at a table. He didn't even need to look to know who was under it. Particularly as before he could turn around, Neria had reappeared and was now straddling Finn.

Marcus thought that he could just find the book he wanted to read later. And study it in his room. Or in an abandoned storage closet. Or at any locale in the tower that was likely to remain Neria-free. But he had wanted to read up on Tevinter magical weaponry for weeks now, and if they decided to abuse the poor library in this way, he really didn't feel that he ought to be the one to feel embarrassed by walking in on them.

Marcus braced himself, then tiptoed past the writhing couple and began looking through the stacks. He tried to ignore their moans as he edged closer to them. Ugh. Just what he needed. It looked as though the book in question was stored just behind where they were copulating. Whatever. He found the place on the shelf where the book should be, and pulled it down, grateful that he was tall enough that he didn't need to fetch a footstool to retrieve it. As he reached over, he felt Neria pat his backside, and ask him if he wanted to join them.

Marcus edged away, deciding that he would not deign to answer her question, then fled the room, book in hand.

Something had to be done, he decided, after his escape. Although his plan of action was still unclear. Perhaps he could get Neria to agree to no-sex zones? Or possibly just to keep sexual activities in certain communal areas restrained to certain hours? Preferably those he was likely to be asleep in?

He'd have to have a talk with her. Although he had no idea as to what good it would do him.

DA:O

Neria later located Godwin in the tower chapel and managed to hook up with him on the altar, just for Carroll to walk in. She gave him more than a few naughty stories to add to his repertoire in a mage on mage on templar menage a trois.

She also caught several apprentices in the stock room, and taught them a few lessons of the sort that were not covered in their standard curriculum.

In addition, she invited a few travelers at the Spoiled Princess into the templar's quarters for a delightful orgy, determined exactly how unemotional the tranquil really were, and sampled a few of the chantry sisters' forbidden fruits. All in all, it was a wonderfully productive week!

DA:O

"I think we need to have a talk," Marcus said, after locating Neria for the first time in nearly a week when she'd had her clothing on and her hands to herself.

"Oh, talk," Neria said, pressing her body up against his and snaking a hand down his chest.

Marcus caught the hand, and pulled it away from him. "No, talk, talk."

"That kind of talk isn't any fun," Neria said. "Don't you want to, I don't know, do something fun while we talk? Or talk about something fun while we do something?"

"Aren't you doing enough fun things as is?" Marcus asked, adjusting his spectacles with his free hand.

Neria frowned. "Maybe," she said. "Although can you get too much of a good thing?" She leaned into him, to rub her face against his chest, and he pushed her away. "Oh, fine," she said. "Since you _insist,_ I'll talk for a little, at least."

"I just wanted to see if we could establish some kind of rules or regulations for the tower, now that it's freed."

"Why would you want rules?" Neria asked, blinking up at him in confusion. "The whole point of freeing the tower is to not have any rules."

"Maybe just guidelines," Marcus said. "Like perhaps that certain areas of the tower will be off limit for certain activities at certain hours?"

"That doesn't sound like very much fun," Neria said. She looked at him as if trying to assess the situation and then said, "Really, you just sound jealous."

"I'm not jealous."

"You totally are," Neria said, then reached out her other hand and patted his groin with it several times. "But you know, I know a few ways of curing jealousy…"

Marcus caught her other hand, and pulled her off of him. "Really, I'm not jealous."

"Are you only into men, then? Does the sight of a woman disgust and revolt you?" Neria asked, as she seemed to think deeply about the possibilities. "I mean, I could pretend to be male, although that act isn't my favorite..."

"I'm really not interested," Marcus said, although he was beginning to realize that he never should have started this discussion. Did he actually think that anything good could come of it?

Neria shrugged, "Well, your loss," she said. Before wriggling against him one last time. "Could you let my hands go? I need to find Cullen before he finds a new hiding place and I have to spend all afternoon looking for him."

Marcus released her with a sigh, and wondered what he'd have to do to get his old tower back.

DA:O

Neria knew that she was in luck when she watched Cullen duck into Greagoir's old office. She snuck in behind him, and closed the door behind her, sealing it with a magical ward. This time he'd have to stay and do what she wanted!

"N-n-n-neria," Cullen whimpered, from where he stood in the corner.

"Shhhhh," Neria said, sidling up next to him. She reached to unbuckle his armor. "This will be nice and easy once you've just relaxed and let me do what I want with you."

The armor dropped to the ground and poor Cullen jumped at the sound. "This will be very nice once you've just accepted it," Neria said, as Cullen backed away from her touch. She couldn't believe that he was still so nervous after all they'd done. Very frustrating. But seeing as she did not want to be stuck chasing him around the office all afternoon, well…

Neria reached into the fade, summoned her powers, and cast an ice spell, freezing him into place.

Now she had to work fast, before it wore off. She luckily had come prepared, and merrily used the restraints she'd brought with her to bind him to the desk. It wasn't the perfect anchor point, but it would probably hold well enough.

"W-w-w-what are you doing?" Cullen asked, after thawing enough to speak.

"I just wanted to help you get over your phobias," Neria said, using a letter opener to tear off the bits of cloth that he was wearing under his armor. "Sex is a perfectly natural and healthy thing, and you're not going to get good at it if you don't practice."

"I-I-I've taken a v-v-v-vow of chastity."

"Oh, that's nothing," Neria said. "Promises are made to be broken. I try to break at least three a week, just for practice."

She slid a hand over his chest. "This will all feel very good if you just relax," she said.

"I-I-I-I w-w-want to g-g-g-go," Cullen said.

OK, so it might take a bit more than just tying him up to get him to relax. But if he absolutely refused to have any fun, maybe Neria could make him do something for her instead. Besides, Neria found his stuttering to be kind of annoying, so decided to put his mouth to good use. She removed her robes, and climbed across his chest, wearing only the skin the Maker had given her. She arranged her body so that he had a clear view, then pointed out exactly what she wanted him to do.

"You see this lump, here?" she asked. "You should put your tongue on it. Right there."

"If I-I-I d-d-d-do this, w-w-w-will you l-l-let me g-g-go?"

"Sure!" Neria said. After all, she could change her mind once he was done, and if he hadn't learned that lesson yet, he needed this far more than she had thought.

DA:O

After Neria was completely and totally satisfied, she decided that Cullen had probably learned his lesson, and undid his restraints. A second later, the foolish man was at the door, desperately trying to escape.

Poor guy. Well, morning after regrets were common enough for the inexperienced. But Neria really didn't want to have to track him down again, so she pricked a finger, and a minute later, Cullen slumped to the ground, his body entirely under her control

Now this was more like it!

DA:O

Cullen shambled behind Neria. Unfortunately, despite that his body was completely under her control, the blood magic possessed weren't quite as appealing as she'd hoped. Their movements were slow and sluggish, and their responses were kind of, well…inadequate. Besides, Neria thought, she'd really had enough of templars for the time being, and it was time to sate her desires on someone a bit more magical.

She found Keili in the Harrowing chamber, kneeling on a chair and praying for the souls of those that had been lost in the Fade.

Neria thought that she could give Keili something worthwhile to pray about. She walked behind her, and rested her arms on the other woman's shoulders.

"Oh, hi," Keili said, trying to rise. Neria stopped her.

"You're religious, right?" Neria asked. When Keili nodded, Neria said, "So…I take it that this means that you've always wanted to see the Maker?"

"What are you getting at, exactly?" Keili asked.

"Just…I think that I know of a way of doing that, if you'd like to just lie down and raise your robes…"

"I really don't think that's appropriate," Keili said, backing towards the door.

"Oh, I think that it would be quite appropriate!" Neria said, following her. She didn't get what it was with all of these incredibly uptight people. Obviously everyone in the tower needed a lot more relaxation than had been provided for under the old regime.

"Neria, I'm not even-" Keili said, before Neria stopped her mouth with a kiss. She cupped the other woman's breasts, squeezing them gently, before the door opened and Keili escaped through it. When Neria turned to see who had disturbed her, she realized that it was Petra. But before she could invite her to join them, both mages had fled.

People really did not know how to have a good time around here.

DA:O

Loghain felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see a large mage standing behind him.

"Do you have a second to talk?" the mage asked.

Loghain nodded.

"My name is Marcus Amell," the mage said, glancing about nervously. "And I and the other mages were hoping for your assistance."

"With what?" Loghain asked. He had no desire to meddle in chantry affairs.

"Things have gotten a little out of control since the tower was freed," Marcus said. "And most of the mages, as well as some of the templars, would like to see it restored to the Chantry."

Loghain grunted. That was not what he had been expecting to hear.

Marcus continued. "We've signed a petition. I was hoping that you could bring it to your daughter, the Queen."

Loghain nodded. This would get him away from the tower, at least for a little, and give him the chance to catch up with his daughter and possibly to disembowel Alistair, if he found that the boy had upset her in any way. And while Neria hadn't commanded him to do this, she hadn't commanded him not to do it, either…

"I'll leave at once," Loghain said, taking the petition and folding it under his arm, with the same gentleness he reserved for treasured maps.

"Thank you," Marcus said. He glanced nervously back at the tower. "I don't suppose you'd mind if I came with you."

Marcus seemed a fine enough traveling companion. And it was always good to have a mage at your side. "Not at all," he said, then whistled for the dog before setting out.

DA:O

_Dear Neria,_

_I would like you to know that I feel almost as horrible over what I am about to do as I was for defiling the bed that I absolutely did not know was yours at Arl Eamon's estate in Denerim. However, I am afraid that I must return the tower to Chantry control. I hope that you will forgive me for this act in light of the results of the investigation over the mysterious death of the former Arl of Redcliffe. If you object to this decision, please do not hesitate to write prior to taking a more drastic course of action. I have seen to it that your phylactery is destroyed, so regardless of the state of the tower, you are effectively freed._

_Your best friend,_

_Anora_

_Dear Anora,_

_I don't mind at all! Really, half the fun of tower sex was having to be all sneaky about it, and I think that I've had all the mages and templars I want for the time being, so moving on. You can do whatever you want with the tower. Burn it to the ground, for all I care._

_Anyway, miss you lots and can't wait to see you whenever I next find myself in Denerim._

_Your best friend forever,_

_Neria_

_P.S: Do you know what happened to your father? I could have sworn that he was just outside the tower with the dog…_

DA:O

(Notice posted in most major cities)

_Please be on the look out for one man, red hair, medium height and build. He is likely to appear disorientated and upset due to the effects of lyrium withdrawal and some horrific torments he sustained at the hands of a malificar. He may answer to the name of "Cullen". If found, please keep him away from any elves or mages, gently take his sword from him, and kindly return him to the nearest Chantry where he can be sedated and rehabilitated._

_Thanks to all who are still reading this nonsense, including: Nightsfury, Shootingstar, MatchesMalone, Interesting, Piceron, Gaj, Arsinoe, Nithu, Lehni, roxfox, Enaid, demonicnargles, Sarah, the Golden Echo, Gene Dark, Eva Galana, jenncgf, and scampermax._

_Incidentally, I am very, very sorry Cullen. You deserved better..._


	5. The Empress's New Toy

**The Empress' New Toy**

_Special thanks to Piceron for making me write this. ;) (Oh, noes! More anon-fail!)_

"We are to be married, no?" Celene asked, as she led Cailan from the masquerade to her private chambers.

They were, and Cailan could not wait to rip the mask from her face and give her a real kiss. Then to take off her golden gown and taste every inch of that ivory skin. "We are indeed," he said, flashing what he thought was his most dashing smile. Not that she needed this excuse to bring him back to her rooms. No, Cailan was happy with any situation that involved him, a beautiful woman, and a complete and total lack of clothing.

He was so occupied with that thought that he barely noticed the elf after they entered the room.

"You can go, now," he said to the elf. The sooner she was gone, the sooner he could start slipping off Celene's golden gown.

"She is not a servant," Celene said, lowering her mask so that she could smile at Cailan. "She is my mage. And a most trusted advisor."

"So she's supposed to stick around, while we…" Cailan had never tried to perform in front of an audience before, but he supposed that he was up to the challenge if Celene was.

Celene shook her head. "Watch?" she said with a slight giggle. "Oh, no. She will, how do you say? Participate. Assist us. Mages can do some truly remarkable things, and Neria is quite skilled."

Things were getting better all the time. Now he had not only Celene in the bedroom with him, but a gorgeous mage as well, skilled at the arts of love. Cailan couldn't wait to get back to Denerim and tell Anora about how awesome his trip to Val Royeaux had been.

DA:O

Cailan had just managed to get Celene naked and himself poised above her when she pushed him aside.

"I am not yet ready," she said, her rosy lips pursed.

Ah, well this was not so hard to remedy. Fighting back his own desire, Cailan moved to the side of the bed, and leaned over Celene, kissing her breast. The elf sat across from him on the bed, her clothing completely off, although she did wear a peculiar little bell around her neck. Cailan thought that it must be an Orlesian fashion.

"No, no," Celene said, pushing him away. "That is not what I wanted at all. Neria will show you how it is to be done."

Neria winked at him and leaned over Celene's prone body towards Cailan. She kissed him gently on the lips, nibbling the lower one before breaking the kiss and trailing gentle bites down his chest, her hand brushing Cailan's already painfully erect member.

"You see?" Celene said. "Neria is a master at the art of love." Neria leaned down to kiss her on the lips, before Celene pushed the elf away and glared at Cailan. "I expect no less of you."

Cailan nodded. Surely he could do at least as well as the elf. If not better. For he, too, was a master at the art of love. It was just a matter of figuring out exactly what Celene liked. He leaned down to kiss her on the lips, letting a hand drift to between her thighs. She pushed him away with a scowl.

"No!" she said. "No, no, no. That kiss, it was too…"

"Sloppy?" the elf said, in perfect Fereldan. If she was not in the court at Orlais, Cailan would have thought that she had come from his homeland.

"Yes, sloppy," Celene said. "Neria will show you what I want again. Please repeat it exactly that way on me next."

With a sigh, Cailan let Neria kiss him, in exactly the same way as she had before. What, really, was the difference between the way he'd tried it and the way Neria did it? He leaned over to kiss Celene again, trying to mimic Neria's kiss exactly.

"Better," Celene said with a nod. "Now next time, you can keep your hand between my legs. Breaking it off, it allows me to, how do you say? Cool down? Become unaroused?"

"You really do need to keep up a decent pace," Neria said. "It's really no fun to get all the blood flow just where you want it, to have it stop because your partner interrupts you."

As he slowly wilted, Cailan thought that he knew just what she was talking about.

DA:O

The lesson progressed at an exasperatingly slow speed. Just as soon as he'd let himself stop being so mechanical about things and actually enjoy a kiss with Celene, she'd push hi m away, declare that what he was doing was terrible, and ask her pet mage to demonstrate it either on him or on herself.

He had finally given up on getting the kiss just right, and had instead moved his attentions completely between her thighs. Anora had always liked this, and Cailan didn't see why Celene would be any different.

Why did it not surprise him when he found that she was still displeased?

"No, no, no!" Celene said, pushing his head away. "That was far too rough. Too manly. One must start as delicate as a feather, and then build towards that kind of pressure."

Neria nodded. "Silly Fereldans," she agreed. "They know nothing about how to please a woman."

Celene pulled her down to a kiss. Cailan had long since stopped finding the vision of two beautiful, naked women kissing and groping to be particularly erotic, and wished that they could just get on with it so that he could get to sleep. "I agree," Celene said. "You are all barbarians. Unable to understand that love making like painting a picture, not like fighting a war."

"Other than me," the elf said, a pout on her pretty little face. "I'm not a barbarian." So she was Fereldan.

"Other than you, of course, my sweet," Celene said with an indulgent smile. "You are not like your brutish countrymen." She turned to Cailan. "So, shall we try again?"

Cailan sighed, and lowered his head again. Anora had always liked it when (at least in the privacy of their own bedroom), he'd grab her and be somewhat forceful. She had claimed that this was "passionate". Not brutish or barbaric.

"No!" Celene said, pushing him away again. "That was too sloppy. Too much, how do you say, saliva? Neria, show him what to do."

Cailan let himself be pushed away as the elf knelt between the Empress' outstretched thighs. She beckoned Cailan over as she leaned in and ran a slender finger over the inner folds of flesh. She leaned down to kiss the other woman, her tongue sliding up the slit, and gently moving inside the folds.

"Oh, oui, oui," Celene said. Cailan looked over to see that her hands were clenched and white knuckled in her sheets. How had Neria managed to get her excited this quickly?

"Should I take over?" Cailan asked, pushing Neria aside.

Celene sat up, her face flushed. "No," she said. "I have had enough of your childish fumblings. Neria will continue. You can watch and learn."

In that case, Cailan figured that he might as well enjoy the show.

He watched as Neria went back to licking and nibbling at Celene's sex, before she inserted a slender finger into Celene, thrusting it in and out. She added a second, and Celene's hips began to buck against her mouth and hand. A few minutes into this, and Celene was writhing on the bed, as Neria quickened her pace. Not long after, Celene moaned, arched her back, froze for a second in that strained position, then relaxed into the silken sheets.

"Now that," Celene said, after her breath slowed. "Is how it is to be done."

"Should I try now?" Cailan asked. It had always been easier to please Anora after she had already come once. Surely Celene was no different.

"No, no," Celene said. "I find that I am tired of you for today. Perhaps I will have one of my ladies train you properly tomorrow. But for now, you can watch us and learn." She beckoned to the elf. "Neira, come here. And you do not need to hold back this time. Do what you think will please me, even if it uses skills this boy does not have at his disposal."

Cailan watched as Neria straddled Celene, and slid her small palms up the other woman's chest before kissing her on the lips. A second later, Celene had her flipped on her back, and was kissing her quite passionately. He settled back into his chair and decided to enjoy the show.

DA:O

Anora whimpered, tensed, then relaxed as she pulsed about his fingers. A minute later, after she had recovered, she turned to kiss him.

"You've never done anything like that before," Anora said, gazing at him with a quizzical expression.

"Did you like it?" Cailan asked. Oh, please let her like it. He couldn't stand it if she yelled at him for getting the slightest detail wrong.

"It was wonderful," Anora said. Her eyes narrowed. "Where did you learn…No, never mind, I really don't want to know."

Cailan was just as happy not to provide her with details. He took her in his arms, gave her a long kiss, before making love to her for the rest of the night.


End file.
